(let me know if I’m any good at it!)
Recent News Events:
THE BE-ALL PRESIDENT IS NOW, TA-DA: THE GREAT CEO ka-BAMA
The overall car of the year and the most reliable car in the world were built by GM Chairman Rick Wagner, and he…- Oh, he’s gone - never mind. But anyway, Chairman and CEO ka-Bama has flexed is sleek, clever, abundant muscles and saved GM by waiving his magic middle finger (again), retiring the inept(?) Mr. Wagner. He did have some mercy on him though, allowing him a severance package consisting of a 1963 Plymouth Valiant and a battery operated personal fan (suggesting that his home’s air conditioner would soon be reset by the government, and the fan might help Mr. Wagner reduce his consumption of bottled water). No a bad outgoing package when you consider the Plymouth just might still be eligible for the new (but retroactive) BlackBerry-sponsored extended warranty. (Rumor has it the two award winning cars were named as winners because of the anticipated CEO ka-BAMA take-over.)
THE GREAT GAFNEE “NO BRAKES” GEITHNER AND HIS EVERYDAY GAFFS
The second smartest, and perhaps the most competent of all CEO ka-BAMA appointees, spent a few hours at a local night school, studying ECON 101 – attended in between two opposing statements, suggest first, that we should stay with the dollar bill as the world’s currency, then only to change his mind (again) the very next day after sneaking into a night school headed by none other than Professor Walter E. Williams. (HEY! DOES THAT MEAN THERE’S HOPE THE BAMA CROWD MIGHT … No, you idiot, and I’ve told you before to take your painted toes out of here!)
I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>No. wait .. PATIENCE MY BEHIND! (too corny?)
I PRAY FOR ASTROLOGICAL FORCES TO SAVE MY WOODY
Have you heard about the tree that died before its’ time? Don’t worry; he/she/it was given a proper ceremony and burial complete with a crying widow, sulking friends, and an in-training intellectual spokesperson >>>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSEaHyzbqTA >>>>
Yule Gibbons, forgive them, for they know not .. most everything.
SPEAKING OF WOODYS/WOODIES ???SP+/-???
Did you here the best news of the day? Al Gore is a closet conservative. No, really. He has to be if he preaches one thing and does another, right? During the planned Earth Day celebration of turning off your lights Woody himself turned on his (long) driveway flood lights then ran out back, cut down a tree (just a little one, using his electric chain-saw), in preparation for the evening’s planned eco-party, celebrating all the electricity saved by shutting off the (mandated) power-saving, poison-filled incandescent, snake-like lights that don’t even fit inside that dad-gum doohickey that hold the stupid shade on the (apparently) archaic lamps (well, most of them). The party that night was also considered to be efficiency-planned, as it was a two-fer; also celebrated was the 72nd annual thank-you-al-gore-for-the-internet spectacular. We know this to be true because the Tennessee CPR President, Drew Johnson sneaked up to Al’s house, peeked in the windows and saw several computer screens glowing during the planned black-out.
(Can we still say “black-out?” If I were politically correct and hang’n with the hip crowd, I’d guess a black-out would be some event where Al and Barney Frank/s would “meet” up, with Barney -- encompassing.)
Conservative Al; who would have thunk it? Oh, yea. There already is a …. Oh, I see. Now I’m beginning to get the Big Picture. I’ve got to give Mr. Rather a call; this could revive his career. Heck, a peeping tom should be enough evidence for ole’ Dan, right?
AND NATURALLY NEXT; SAVING PRESTINE SCENIC ACRES OF OTHERWISE UNUSABLE, UNSEEABLE, NO-TRESSPASSING-MARKED ASSESSIBLE ONLY BY SUN-POWERED HILOCOPTER KITE-ASSISTED SEQUESTERED SKI CHAIRS
CEO ka-BAMA signed the 2009 Wilderness Act, taking the last 17% of what was left of the state of Nevada, away from the citizens of the new state of Reno.
LOVE THAT FREE HEALTH CARE
What if Natasha Richardson would have had her skiing accident in America? She just might still be alive: < http://www2.canada.com/calgaryherald/news/story.html?id=531fd3e0-c155-43b3-b4b3-cf570c521b21 > What idiot would possibly want to bring such radical change to our system? Oh yea, the smartest, most intelligent ever CEO ka-Bama, not to mention with the most excellent assistance of the smartest and prettiest woman ever, Mrs. BJ Clinton.
P.S.- I remember Chicken Man from my days in the Seabees stationed on the "Rock." --If you email me FIRST with the correct place referred to as the "Rock" I will send you a personalized, signed copy of the Jury Handbook, free of charge even!
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